Religious Truth

I found a postcard with the title "Religious Truth". It reads:

Taoism: Shit happens.
Buddhism: If shit happens, it isn't really shit.
Hinduism: This shit has happened before.
Islam: If shit happens, it is the will of Allah.
Catholicism: Shit happens because you deserve it.
Protestantism: Let shit happen to somebody else.
Judaism: Why does shit always happen to us?

I also found on the web some funny extensions:

Confucianism: Confucius say, 'Shit happens.'
Zen-Buddhism: What is the sound of shit happening?
New Age: Affirm: 'Shit does not happen to me.'
Atheist: I don't believe this shit.
Rastafarian: Let's roll that shit up and smoke it.